Posts Tagged: lies

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lolajambon:

FROM JONATHAN’S HIGH SCHOOL IN ARIZONA

Source: pleatedjeans
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poorgraduatestudent:

Yellow - Coldplay

Official Song of UYD
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To review:

Episode 27, 33:59 – Seth talks about his 7-year-old daughter, Vanessa. 

Seth and Eliza Dushku welcomed their precious bundle of joy, Vanessa Marcia Dushku, into the world in February, 1999. She weighed seven pounds, inspiring the Will Smith film. Seth had her ears pierced right away. She is currently in rehab.

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On episode 40, Seth announced he would adopt a black great-grandson named Jeff.

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  • Welcome back, Imaginary Young Seth (IYS=PYT)! Oh, I’ve missed you.
  • Since it’s 2006 for life, Vanessa never ages. But, I’ve done the hard science and simulated her age progression anyway. It’s in the queue. DON’T SLEEP. UYD4Life; UYD4L4Life.
  • Oh yeah, HAHAHA, I just remembered this happened! Back in March, I was talking about our privacy policies to a buddy who is a super-UYDfan and occasional contributor to the site. So, you know, I was all, “We just have to be careful not to post anything private or personal that’s not in the show, blah blah blarf." He responded, very gently and diplomatically, "I think you’ve really done a great job with that, overall. But there was one thing—and don’t get upset—but I was concerned about that time you posted a picture of Seth’s daughter.” I tried not to, but I lol’ed and lol’ed at him. All I have to say is:
  • UYD: Constantly Lying
  • UYD4L: I Learned It from You, Daddies
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Return of the Mack (You know that I’d be back. Well HERE I AM): For the last little while, I’ve been waffling about this site; whether I want to keep doing it, whether it’s worth it, why I’m doing it, blah blah. Well, I’ve ultimately decided to rev it back up. Why? 1. UYD is the funniest show 2. I like getting to talk about funny stuff 3. I like to write posts and draw stupid pictures and make cards and come up with games 4. I like every UYD fan who has contacted me through this site. To sum up: it’s super fun to write this blog and I’d like to continue to do so because it’s about a hilarious show with amazing fans. UYD4L.

So, I’m going to come correct with some fresh style.

And by that I mean by I’m dredging up old games. (Semantics.) Back after the HaikUYD contest ended, some of you suggested that it be made a regular thing here on UYD4Life. So, let’s do it!!! I still have magnets and cards as rewards. This time, though, the prize stakes are even higher. I’m putting up a UYD hanky-code hanky (easily framable, but functional as a kercheif, too) as a new, special first-place prize. But, even if you don’t win, remember:

To conquer oneself is a greater task than conquering others. 

-Brian Austin Greene

HaikUYD Round Two is officially on!!

Answer here, uyd4life@gmail.com, @uyd4life on twitter, on the forum topic! 

Rules: You can write as many as you want, but you must pick only one for voting consideration. It must be UYD-related. And, really, let’s be honest: it should be funny. 

BTW, here is the entry from the original winner, Nader, who has attested to the righteousness of his prize package.

How to party right?
Put chopped oxys in your butt.
Thanks, dad. Love, dead son.

uyd4l:

Wearing a seatbelt,

“I’m in the dance, then I’m out”—

Seth parks fireman style.

Haiku. The cheapest, least resistant, most easily co-opted traditional Asian art form since the woodblock print.

The Great Wave, by Hokusai

Let’s do it! Best one wins a magnet.

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An American American

An American American

(via whiteboytarantino-deactivated20)

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Inspired by our new buddy JLR(ctrl+g is bullshit), for this week ONLY (cause I’m so hard; I always stick to my word about these things): Send in a pic of yourself holding up a UYD4L sign and we’ll post it and advertise your blog to all your fellow Lifers. (And our one squillion visitors and fans who aren’t on Tumblr. What, you didn’t know? We’re real big tymas…)

Then, we’ll work on gettin them together to send to the studio. Like a yearbook of UYD Nation. It’ll give the boys a little pick-me-up and remind them that we care. OK? Submit here, at @uyd4life on twitter (yes you, Rob, our most faithful tweeter), and at UYD4life@gmail.com.

*Bonus if you’re wearing UYDuds/babysofts/otherwise representing the nation. 

*Bonus for multiple fans in one pic.

*Bonus for creative entries, poses, locales, photoshopping. 

*Bonus points for saying nice things in your submish about the boys or (Caitlin inserted this part, I sw’ar.) including something about our blog. [Ahem, the address, in case you’re wondering, is http://uyd4l.tumblr.com. What? Only God can judge me, as my HoloPac Shakur and my dope back tattoo clearly state. WHAT, CAN’T YOU READ, DUMMIES? Oh you can’t see me? Oh, that’s not me? Oh, it says “Only God can Gudge Me”? Fuck it.]

I will be considering this a giftable challenge, so if I think you do a super duper job, there will be cards. I MAY even decide to make the UYD4L logo screenprinted hankies I back-burnered when we switched steezes (half-pannyed) on the ides of March. (Yes, twas gratifyingly poetic.)

ANYWAY, CAN YOU IMAGINE? UYD HANKY CODE HANKIES!?? And you can frame them (in the unlikely event that you don’t actually abide by the hanky code daily. Or use them as hankies if you want to wipe down after the boys make you laugh till you have all sorts of bodily fluids flowing. Ew. But seriously, it would be a dream if someone used one of our UYD hankies to wipe the tears of laughter from their eyes.) Here’s a deal: I’ll make one to show you as soon as we get our first submission. 

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Frangela is the portmanteau of a Los Angeles-based comedy duo, Frances Callier and Angela V. Shelton, who regularly appeared on Best Week Ever. Angela Shelton has voiced video games, while Frances Callier played “Roxy” on the show “Hannah Montana.” They were also on “I’m a celebrity, get me blah blah blarb.”

They are considered UYD’s Sister Comedians. 

Source: Wikipedia
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When I visited L.A. to appear on Jeopardy! (July 12, CYLL), Seth and Jah Jonathan were, unfortunately but unsurprisingly, at a Scientology retreat at the Gold Base and couldn’t get away…literally. To relay their deep, deep regret and (still-lingering) sorrow about missing the chance to meet me personally, they sent Jeff—Seth’s great-grandson—as their representative. (Hey, guys, don’t think poorly of them: I understood completely. They had to get those thetans OUT, ew.)

Anyway, it was probably even better this way, since Jeff and I immediately became BFFers. We ate some lovely mixed greens together as we talked, laughed, and slapped each other. It was the best day of our lives. 

Jeffery Preston Romatelli, 2012

(Taken with instagram)

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Jah loves his son Jimmy

Episode 17

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I CAN’T.
One of these bands put on a show that “changed Jah’s life.” Hmmm, the answer is probably the one that’s highlighted…We’ll just assume this lady’s answer is correct as we recount the following story. She looks wicked confident.
Jah was working in a guitar store when Fred Durst came in and started looking around at guitars. Jah was like, “Hey man, I’m really looking forward to the show tonight.” Fred replied, “So, do you have tickets?” Jah told him yes, because he had already paid like a thousand dollars online to scalp tickets for him and Justine earlier that day because he never ever misses a Bizkit show. Fred was like, ah, well too bad, I’d have spotted you some. Then, Jah said, in a burst of brilliance, “But my homie Amir is a HUGE Limp Bizkit head and would love to go to the show.” So Fred, being the awesome bro-ham that he is, was like, “Cool, I’ll put him on the list. Just give me his name.”
So, that night, everyone showed up at the show, super pumped, wearing their dopest Bizkit gear:
 
But, the ticket agent said he didn’t see their names on the list. At the very last minute, a manager popped by, heard the commotion, and asked Jah, “What guitar store did you say you worked at? Yeah, Fred was there today. I’ll ask him.” So he went and asked Fred Durst, who, after riffling through a pile of numbers from cougars and desperadoes, pulled out the crumpled piece of paper Jah had written Amir’s name on. They were let all in just in time to see the super awesome Limp Bizkit show.
It was a LIMP BIZKIT MYRACLE.
True Story. (Uh, kind of.)

I CAN’T.

One of these bands put on a show that “changed Jah’s life.” Hmmm, the answer is probably the one that’s highlighted…We’ll just assume this lady’s answer is correct as we recount the following story. She looks wicked confident.

Jah was working in a guitar store when Fred Durst came in and started looking around at guitars. Jah was like, “Hey man, I’m really looking forward to the show tonight.” Fred replied, “So, do you have tickets?” Jah told him yes, because he had already paid like a thousand dollars online to scalp tickets for him and Justine earlier that day because he never ever misses a Bizkit show. Fred was like, ah, well too bad, I’d have spotted you some. Then, Jah said, in a burst of brilliance, “But my homie Amir is a HUGE Limp Bizkit head and would love to go to the show.” So Fred, being the awesome bro-ham that he is, was like, “Cool, I’ll put him on the list. Just give me his name.”

So, that night, everyone showed up at the show, super pumped, wearing their dopest Bizkit gear:

 

But, the ticket agent said he didn’t see their names on the list. At the very last minute, a manager popped by, heard the commotion, and asked Jah, “What guitar store did you say you worked at? Yeah, Fred was there today. I’ll ask him.” So he went and asked Fred Durst, who, after riffling through a pile of numbers from cougars and desperadoes, pulled out the crumpled piece of paper Jah had written Amir’s name on. They were let all in just in time to see the super awesome Limp Bizkit show.

It was a LIMP BIZKIT MYRACLE.

True Story. (Uh, kind of.)

(via fire-without-a-spark-deactivate)

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UYD’s first in studio guest was JACKEE, for the Jackee episode, episode 227.

(via knowledgeequalsblackpower)

Source: blackculture
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UYD4Life: We Learned it from Watching You, Daddies

The Newsweek that was printed on the day Jah was born, Aug. 7, 1977:

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Episode 27, 33:59 – Seth talks about his 7-year-old daughter, Vanessa

Seth and Eliza Dushku welcomed their precious bundle of joy, Vanessa Marcia Dushku, into the world in February, 1999. She weighed seven pounds, inspiring the Will Smith film. Seth had her ears pierced right away. She is currently in rehab.


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BREAKING: Jonathan’s beard is being waxed by old-world professionals boated in from across the Puget Sound, where Jonathan knew a girl once. This is what the challenge coin money was earmarked for, apparently.

Informant Kat says it’s pretty awesome in there.

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BREAKING: We have gotten our first report. Apparently, Seth is dressed only in a red union suit, is desperately grasping an open umbrella, and is forcing all the kids to take milly while looking at penis shots. Everyone is LOVING IT!!! 

BREAKING: We have gotten our first report. Apparently, Seth is dressed only in a red union suit, is desperately grasping an open umbrella, and is forcing all the kids to take milly while looking at penis shots. Everyone is LOVING IT!!!