It goes with out saying that Jonathan Lee Riches is THE BEST dude ever. Everything this man does is genius and (hold on to your butts) HE’S GETTING OUT OF JAIL SOON!! Yes, our favorite convict is projected to be released March 23, 2012.
If you don’t know who J-Riche$ is, SHAME ON YOU. I forgive you, though - not all of us are obsessed with peed-ophiles and inmates convicted of fraud. I don’t actively hope that the formerly incarcerated go back to prison, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this is another Phillip Morris sitch and JLR will commit fraud again so we can be amused by his incessant filing of lawsuits. Since 2006, he’s filed more than a thousand lawsuits.
Let’s travel back toEpisode 83 when ’Ol Johnny came on the spot with Seth giving us a taste of JLR ‘suits:
Seth: [Jonathan Lee Riches] filed one this summer in July against Michael Vick. He claims Michael Vick stole his pit bulls and then fought them for profit to buy arms for the Iranian government after Michael Vick pledged his allegiance to Al Queda. He was paid 63 million dollars in gold and silver, was Michael Vick. In August, he sued Barry Bonds for 42 million dollars in Swiss francs claiming that he used his baseball bat to crack the Liberty Bell. Just this week he sued Jeff Gordon, Nascar driver, for “recklessly driving my life crazy.” He also accused Jeff Gordon of having a secret trap door in his race car that he dropped Tic-Tacs out on to the race track to screw up the other drivers. That’s inmate number 40948018.
Jonathan: This dude is awesome.
[cAside: If this dude wasn’t so clearly nuts (or is he? Maybe he’s just really funny), I’m pretty sure I would have been signing my name Caitlin Riches by now because we would have had a prison marriage last year. Like Seth and Jah, I hope this guy sues me. I mean, look what I did to his face! It’s on Gene Wilder’s body! He HAS to sue me at this point because I definitely violated his civil rights.]
[I’m going on the record as saying 1. He’s clearly a super genius, like I really, honestly think so 2. So marriagable. Congrats, Mrs. Riches 3. Hilarious and 4. I think he’s definitely self-aware, even if a bit cray, and thus extry awesome. We love you JLR. Want to write for UYD4L? You can contact us at… -Sethro]
[Hey y’all…This was my very first JLR© post and although it seems like forever ago, I can’t help but grin while thinking about the fact that it wasn’t that long ago and because of the silly work I put into these posts, JLR© has actually reached out to us. None of this would have happened if it weren’t for Sethro, the hard work she put into this site, and of course ALL Y’ALL LIFERS for liking this blog enough that JLR© somehow got his eyes on it. I want to sincerely thank Sethro and all of you for supporting this quest. I hope a lot of great stuff comes out of this. -Caitlin]