UYD for Life

Bring the romantic odes, y’all. Gimme. I need them. 

Six-day load awaits

Someone who can party right

(Wife gets home at 5:00.)

I bought some Panax today to add to the booty pile. Let’s try this again: HAIKUYD2: Haiku for Life. Send your HaikUYD to me here, @uyd4life on twitter, or to uyd4life@gmail.com. 

Haiku your asses off.

(And yes, prior entrants are still registered. Gifts and prizes to be had. UYD4Life. Sethro)

The dancecaster’s year

Every Kiss begins with Kaye

Pilot season’s here

.

Marcia sends a leaf

The Christmas Creep begins, ends

Then, next year for life

————

Don’t you think you can do better than that?

“Stop calling me Jah.”

But you’re our great white prophet!

I and I can’t/won’t. 

Vote for your favorite here or at the forum!

You can vote once a day through Sunday. That seems fair, right?

The entire UYD4Life staff met (in the ether) and voted on our top five HiakUYD finalists. Here they are in alphabetical order. It was so difficult to choose only five, and I was personally overridden a number of times—hard. I’m just glad we don’t have to decide the winner: THAT’S YOUR JOB! A link to a poll will be posted on here on Friday, Feb. 17 at 12 noon and will be open all weekend for voting. {The poll itself will be hosted on the front page of the HaikUYD thread on the Great Western Forum. It will be where my first haiku is now. See, not scary. Ok? OK!} Here they are!

Congratulations, finalists! 

———

1. After Stand by Me

    Crying in the car with mom

    “I want friends like that”

(MomminHard) 

——-

2. Doctor Doolittle

   The Professor and Norbit

   He killed Shalomar

(Cain)

——-

3. How to party right?

   Put chopped oxys in your butt.

   Thanks, dad. Love, dead son.

(Nader)

——-

4. The Great White Prophet

    Cries for his harmonica

    Muddy feet, satin sheets

(eczema)

——-

5. Um excuse me, Miss.

    Please show me the twins, thank you.

    “I came on my face”

(YesterdaysNewsTomorrow)

——-

To the other contenders: your talents made our choice so difficult. I honestly didn’t expect nearly this kind of amazo talent and participation when I planned the contest. We will post your haikus (nominated or not) on the site occasionally to highlight your wonderful works, if that’s coo’. Additionally, just because you are not a finalist does not mean that you will not be included in the HaikUYD gift that makes it to the studio. Below is a look at the small start I’ve made in Calligraphing your poetry.

We look forward to many more contests with super silly, fun UYD prizes. We will continue to organize efforts celebrate UYD in new and creative ways. 

Love always, Sethro

[As usual, you can PM me, aighead, caitlin, fat dennis, landfill bill, or gene wildest in the uyd forum, @uyd4life twit, uyd4life@gmail.com, or message us here with questions or comments. UYDLOVE from all of us.]

AND PLEASE, KEEP THE HAIKUS COMING. JUST BECAUSE THE CONTEST IS ENDING DOESN’T MEAN THE FUN IS.

UYD4Life: HaikUYD Round 3

Remember, cats and kittens, there are prizes at stake. So amazing are your entries that I’m upping our end of the bargain:

1st prize: Two magnets and a card

2nd prize: One magnet and a card

3rd prize: A card (chock FULL of UYD Love!)

[And we will definitely be getting copies of these to the studio in some form. Chardonnay, call Geoff?]

LAST ROUND! SCRAPE YOUR BRAINS! HAIKUYD IS ON!

(Answer here, uyd4life@gmail.com, @uyd4life on twitter, on forum topic! I’ll be serving HaikUYD there all night. I’ll bet some other writers might dip in, too.)

eczema

The Great White Prophet
Cries for his harmonica
Muddy feet, satin sheets

JP 0_0

Prepare for quickie!
Pants around ankles, dick out.
Oops, butt-dialed Dad.

And I am serving some straight poetry realness:

SeaOrgs with accents. 
Occupation: Podcaster.
We’re all dead agents.

Marcia, how could you?
“But it was the seventies!”
Seth could have died, doper!

What?? TOO POLITICAL? Can’t handle the content? I’m HARD AS IS, SON!

and yesterday’s:

Cain

Doctor Doolittle 
The Professor and Norbit
He killed Shalomar

Saturn Valley

Leaf, mute vegan man.
Hot woman, “Hello Satan!”
Looks into his soul.

Bigmitch7

Olds can’t do anything
Gramps thinks TV doesn’t work
Just change the input yo

Trusty Jones

i think its a dude
because i can see his nuts
hey, jaguar sit still

and yesterday

MomminHard -

After Stand by Me
Crying in the car with mom
“I want friends like that”

YesterdaysNewsTomorrow

Um excuse me, Miss.

Please show me the twins, thank you.

“I came on my face”

Are you cool?

Craig’s House, no gay shit.

Boy cunts, leaky boners too

Unzip. Explode. Go.

Nader

How to party right?
Put chopped oxys in your butt.
Thanks, dad. Love, dead son.

Melrose

he’s on his fixed gear
saving Bailey from himself
he is junior hulk

(via lolajambon)

MomminHard - 

After Stand by Me
Crying in the car with mom
“I want friends like that”

YesterdaysNewsTomorrow 

Um excuse me, Miss.

Please show me the twins, thank you.

“I came on my face”

Are you cool? 

Craig’s House, no gay shit.

Boy cunts, leaky boners too

Unzip. Explode. Go.

Nader

How to party right?
Put chopped oxys in your butt.
Thanks, dad. Love, dead son.

Melrose

he’s on his fixed gear
saving Bailey from himself
he is junior hulk

———————————————————————————

honorable mention: staff submission (a perfect diamond)

Landfill Bill

One’s a strain of weed
One’s running in the Preakness
One’s from my mind’s eye

and then, the obligatory:

Landfill Sethro

Seth Romatelli.
Jonathan P. Larroquette.
UYD4Life.

Stiff (wnky) competish guys. Keep ‘em coming.

Vines and dean, you’re not showing up. Skype it to our inbox?

Wearing a seatbelt,

“I’m in the dance, then I’m out”—

Seth parks fireman style.

Haiku. The cheapest, least resistant, most easily co-opted traditional Asian art form since the woodblock print.

Let’s do it! Best one wins a magnet.

(Not totes magotes, unless you want to rip a totes tag off something at the mall [shudder] and mail it to me). And they don’t actually hold shit very well, like, magnetically, but they’re cute! And it’ll have a SUPER cute card. I’m known for my Japanese woodblock card making skills.

(Answer here, uyd4life@gmail.com, @uyd4life on twitter, on forum topic! After three months, this is feeling like my 888842…)

update: entry from the forums

MomminHard - Feb 6th 2012 @ 09:00 pm

After Stand by Me
Crying in the car with mom
“I want friends like that”

Haiku, anyone?